Together with participants of my programmes and with my clients we always discuss the effective tools and practices that drive us to move forward, towards the goal, not to lose the track of planned transformations and keep the promises we give to ourselves.
And in general all our promises and set goals (personal ones) are related to the formation of the habit or reaching the state that associate with personal growth and development!
I love this topic as I myself time to time lose the track and keep what I planned and promised to myself for the next Monday :-). And accordingly the "work" on this is my personal priority on a permanent basis :-)
Do you remember, friends, when was the last time you promised to yourself to start "the new life" from Monday? When you promised that on Monday you will finally start getting up earlier, spread your yoga mat and start exersizing, cook balanced breakfast for yourself or just go for a stroll outside... I suggest you to continue with your own list :-)
Around us (among our friends, neighbours, celebrities, in social networks) we observe the people who we think are always motivated for own growth and development. We have no doubts that they don't have issues with promises they give to themselves and self motivation. And we, inspired again by the beautiful stories and examples, on a motivational "wave" promise to ourselves: "definitely, from next Monday I will..." continue with your list :-)
Let's look at my example (we will talk about physical part, that is more visual :-)):
When I was close to 30... I understood that it was time to take care of my body (I did not grow any younger :-)). I looked around and understood that people I knew did aerobics, pilates or oriental dancing. So 3 times a week I forced myself to do oriental dancing, then aerobics, then pilates... And in the end I did not stay anywhere and gave up on physical activity... my laziness won, and I did not see the long term prospective and did not get any joy. So my self promise and "new life" in beautiful body had to wait till next Monday :-)
I was almost 40, second child, physical shape and body were not at its best, and I started thinking again: what should I do and how could I transform myself? And I gave myself a promise again: I would add physical activity, search for what suits me and an instructor I feel comfortable with. As a result I found and stayed with yoga...
I am almost 50, and I start with fitness, search for a trainer, search for exercises convenient for me, I know how long and how often I need to train and... I stay with fitness...
Do you know why it worked for the second and third time?
- because I decided not to work on inspiration only, not to "stick" a habit quickly from the next Monday, but I gave myself time to understand the source of this wish.
- I can keep the promise by waking up early in the morning, going to the gym or outside but how long I will do it and will I enjoy are other questions.
- I "audit" my own wish/promise: what is behind it: why I need it? is it my wish?, checking my wish for seriousness and authenticity.
- after I have defined that the wish is mine and it is absolutely sincere, I switch on my intention!
«intention is about mindful goal, readiness and sense of the wish or action; this is our wish + confident action; intention - necessity".
- intention is on, and what do we do with big and confident action? а) split it into small, achievable and measurable steps (that's how I started walking my "10 thousand steps" first only on weekends, and this pace made me enjoy it without stress and overcoming myself. And now I aim to walk daily!); b) not to give up on your promise and continue! do it regularly, create all conditions for this to happen (to buy nice mat or get a subscription to the gym), but definitely make it a "necessity" and priority similar to brushing your teeth or taking a shower...
- and one more important and not the last condition: you should find those who supports you: family, friends, parents, colleagues or even your cat. Those who believes in you and will stay with you on your way to achievement and completion!
That is how the habits are formed including a habit of "keeping own promises" or "start new life" from Monday.
And if you could find the ways to keep your self promise - you are a star and love yourself. And you want to have this feeling again and again (dopamine influence) fix one habit and place it to your subconsciousness, and it will "pull in" the next great habit.
That is how the personal growth and development that we strive for happen: step by step, understanding why, together with the group of like minded people and compulsory repetition, no matter how difficult it seems!
And if you know what you really want, your "new life" will definitely start and not necessarily from new Monday but much earlier!
With care, JI