relationship, or 11 principles of our partnership
by Jamilya Imankulova
Let's make it clear from the beginning. The subject is sensitive and not simple. And we are not ideal.

There are different days as everyone has. There is a lot of sun, but there are rainy days (or even seasons), feeling hurt, expectations and demands, failing to keep the promises.

We are not superheroes, and that's the fact.
But what helps us to overcome everything and win is our main principles of life together. I will happily share it:

1. Respect and care of each other. Everyone has "honeymoon" and the "after" can be different. When you and your Partner meet the reality and your "truth" without hiding it. So respect and care is the first and foremost that we defined as a "lighthouse" for our common life from the very beginning. Respect to the personality and individuality of each other. We are not just the Man and the Woman, Mother and Father, Managers. We are first of all Personalities with our own life experience which either needs to be accepted or... you have to go through constant fight.

2. Not to discuss with relatives and friends our "disagreements" in bright details, not to involve third parties in our "it will be fine". But if we need an assistance to understand we will visit the best professionals without hesitation.

3. And once we start negotiations we have our #wetime to discuss important questions about us, children, business, family, life. We agreed on 1 time a week: breakfast or dinner, but is a must and it is scheduled. Remember, the less "hallucinations" in the family the better. And as we speak completely different languages (has everyone read a great book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray?), to clear understanding is very important and helps a lot!

4. From time to time we take a time out from daily routine and even from each other. Without offences, feeling of guilt we take a time out for: hobbies, traveling, self care. For example, for me these are my business trips, few days for myself or half day in Spa, and I am "flying" home filled and ready to share my energy and impressions.

5. We develop together and we are always aware of interests of each other. We share books, watch developing programs, study on online platforms and then share and discuss. Each has own pace and specifics but in general we have one direction. Each takes something for him/herself, has own interpretation, and it enriches and fills us a lot! My Partner feels the environment deeper and more subtle, he helps me to create a more integral picture and understanding when I miss to hear or see something.

6. We spend time together away from the family, routine, work, and again #wetime: breakfasts/lunches, movies, trips just for two of us (though our common business can seep there as well) but time together fills in a great way.

7. We consider our relationship as an important and main priority. If there will be a choice of what each of us wants or what is useful for us, we would choose the last and will never insist on our own choice.

8. We create our common rituals: to come to the garden with a cup of coffee in the morning and discuss the coming day; put a mat and practice yoga (each in his own pace but together); go for a morning walk together; kiss and wish a great and successful day to each other in the morning...

9. We know the strengths of each other and entrust the management where each of us is the strongest, be it family, everyday routine, business... and we are proud of each other and always support one another. We can come with feedback which is not always a pleasant one, We just always try to provide it from the state of respect and care.

10. Flexibility and openness for acceptance. Relationships are not static, same as everything else. It cannot be that you built your relationship and never revisit them. You are always on a move, develop together and individually. Your points of view, habits, hobbies change - every day you are different, and you readiness for new things and openness are very helpful here.

11. Act from the resource state. All above mentioned might not happen if you live in continuous stress, feeling of "fight or run", or switch on the autopilot mode. It is very important to be in resource state, learn to manage own emotional state, do common and individual "breath in and out". В

Was it all like this from the beginning? Of course not. Each of us came with own "luggage" and experience of relationship of our parents and close people.

But we always "work" and learn to be in quality relationship which are about mutual comfort and support of us as a couple and individuals.

This is something that helped and helps us to "survive" and develop as a Couple. It is not just about psychology and soft skills, This is all about energy and desire to change, become better and Live Our Life.
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